You've heard it said: "Love is patient and kind." If love is patient, it may be because love is truly understanding.

Do you know what the most common craving is among pregnant women? (I'm sure this is factual.) The most common craving among pregnant women is not spicy food, pickles or ice cream. Not even close. It is for MEN to get pregnant.

Why? Because then they would know what it is like! Then they might be more patient. What most women need during times of cravings, discomfort, swollen ankles and morning sickness is... understanding.

Much of our conflict is simply misunderstanding. As a new bride, one woman moved into the small home on her husband's ranch in the mountains. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it.

For 50 years he left the box alone, until his life partner was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important.

Opening it, he discovered two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents.

"My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you."

Her husband was touched that in 50 years she'd only been upset enough to make two doilies.

"What's the $82,500 for?" he asked.

She explained, "Oh, well that's the money I've made selling the doilies."

Marge Piercy beautifully said, "Life is the first gift, love is the second and understanding is the third." But it is love that gives us life and understanding that brings about love.

Making doilies might take your mind off the problem, but it won't change anything. The path from conflict to love is not by way of arts and crafts. It is through the valley of understanding.

© Copyright by Steve Goodier

Steve Goodier is a newspaper columnist and author of numerous books on personal development. Visit his site for more information, free eBooks or to sign up for his ezine newsletter of Life, Love and Laughter at http://LifeSupportSystem.com

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